Close Edge

You know, the only way to start this post is to begin with the setting that I currently find myself in... I'm sitting in my room at 1:31 AM in the morning on what was a Friday night, completely wasted (Nah not literally). It seems that I find myself here more than I would like, but I try not to focus on the negative. The negative seems to always find its way to the surface, whether you like it or not. Maybe it's something to do with my soul, a flaw or something, but like I said I try to focus on the positive.

So I'm sitting here thinking about the show that I was watching earlier, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It was an episode where the group & Carl decide to deep fry a cow in a huge deep fryer (I know, silly as shit). After they deep fry the cow, Master Shake leaves the vat of oil in the middle of their damn lawn, and Frylock yells at him to get rid of the thing. So after trying to put it off on Carl, they both find a solution: dumping it irresponsibly in the forest. This part struck me for one reason, and one reason only. The oil stood out to me as a metaphor for the way I always seem to approach life even though I hate to admit it. I always claim to be up to huge tasks, but I find either shortcuts to get them done or I cop out with a bullshit excuse...and it's driving me crazy. Why do these lazy patterns seem to fuck up my life? I have dedication but...sometimes I lack motivation, just like Shake lacked the motivation to get that shit out of his lawn lol...

And that's why I'm fucking blogging at 1 AM in the morning about nothing really. I really think I'm on the close edge from collapsing into insanity...Only time will tell...



1 hunnit

-BLACK SUNN